Abigail’s Birth Story

Abigail’s birth story starts almost 2 weeks before she was born. It was August 6^th and Colby left for Alaska that morning. He was nervous to go. He was worried she would come while he was gone and I had to practically push him out the door saying, “You’re fine! I always go late! We have like 3 weeks before she comes. Go bring me home some fresh salmon!” That day I brought all the kids up to Rexburg Rapids and we had a fun time. I was getting into the pool to help Henry swim and I thought the pool was shallower than it was, so when I stepped in my foot kept falling the entire 3 feet and ouch! Not good for a 38-weeker.  But the pain went away soon enough and I was back to normal. On the way home from Rexburg I called my mom to say, “Hey, I need to be responsible adult, so can you keep your phone by you tonight in case something happens in the night? Nothing will, but just in case.” So that night, I got all the kids in bed and I went to sleep. I woke up about 3:00 am with a gushing feeling. I rolled over to the other side, too sleepy to really think about it and I felt another gush. My first thought was blood because it felt just like the blood gushes after a baby, but then I thought, wait, I’m still pregnant- can’t be blood. Maybe it’s amniotic fluid!” I got up and ran to the bathroom and to my disbelief there was a ton of blood!  There should not be that much blood when you’re pregnant! I am the opposite of a worry wart and I thought, “It’s going to be alright, I’ll just put a pad on a try to go back to sleep. If it gets worse, I’ll call the midwife.” I start walking back to the bed and felt another gush- lay down, feel another gush. I go back to the bathroom and get out my handy dandy Depends I had bought a couple days before, then go and lay back down. My heart it beating super fast and the empty spot next to me in the bed really makes me nervous. I decided to call my mom and see what I should do. It’s about 3:30am now. I call her cell- no answer. Call the home line- no answer. Call her cell again, no answer! My heart is beating out of my chest. Should I call 911? What about the boys?? I call the midwife, no answer but I leave a message. Finally, my phone lights up and it’s my mom! Golly-wolly mom, you about put me into labor right then and there!  I told her about the blood and she said call the hospital and see what they say. “Duh!” I thought, “Why didn’t I do that in the first place?” So I hung up, called Mountain View Hospital and the nurse asked how much blood, and I said more than a period, it gushes, and she said “We don’t like seeing that much blood - you better come in and let us watch you.” Then she asked, “Are you having any contractions and have you felt the baby move? “ My mind went blank and I said, “No, no contractions and no, I haven’t felt her move since I’ve been awake, but I haven’t really been paying attention.” So I got off the phone with her and let my mom know I needed to go in.  She and my dad were headed over to my place so my mom could take me in and my dad could stay with the boys. I started packing my hospital bag, not knowing if I’d need post partum stuff or not, so I just packed all of it, then I sat on the couch and willed that baby girl to move! Eventually, I felt her kick around a little and I felt a huge wave of relief.

            They arrived and we headed to the hospital. I was feeling pressure on my cervix, or maybe they were just contractions. When I got to the hospital, I was really missing Colby and I really wanted him there. The nurses wouldn’t check my cervix because they didn’t want to mess anything up down there, so they waited for the midwife to get out of a C-section. While waiting, they had the heart rate monitor and contraction monitor on me and she kept asking, can you feel that one? And I asked, “Feel what, a contraction?” I didn’t even know I was having any! I was getting super nervous that this was labor and I was going to have the baby without Colby there. There is no service at the Fishing Lodge he was at, but he brought his Satellite GPS phone that gets text messages. I decided not to send him a message till I knew more what was going on. To shorten the story, I'll just tell you what we thought and what it really was. Before the exam, they thought the placenta had not moved (I had placenta previa earlier in my pregnancy; where the placenta is growing over the cervix, but had moved out of the way by 20 weeks) or the placenta was abrupting from the wall causing all the bleeding. But after an exam, the midwife thought that yes, the placenta might still be in the way and with me dialating, was causing all the bleeding; which also means automatic C-section. She was going to send in the ultrasound tech to look and see where the placenta was for sure. I’m not an emotional person, like, at all, but when she left, I started crying saying, “I wish Colby was here!” my sweet mom came over, stated crying too, and it was nice to have her there with me, comforting me in that scary time. A C-section would suck, but without the husband, and without him even knowing anything was happening was killing me. I was dying to get the ultrasound tech in there. About 20 minutes later she came and confirmed that the placenta was completely fundal which means it’s way up high of of the way! Yay! She also confirmed her head was super low, I was dialated to a 4 and 70% effaced, and she had lots of hair. She also told my mom while I was in the bathroom that, “She’s going to have that baby today.” My mom told me that after she left, and I was like, “What?! What does that mean?? Not today!” I was having lots of contractions, but that was most likely caused by all the blood that can irritate the uterus and make it contract. Needless to say, she was wrong and really freaked us out for no reason. They decided that varicose veins caused the bleeding by the cervix and they would keep me at the hospital till the bleeding had stopped for at least an hour. I sent Colby a message telling him I was in the hospital and that I was bleeding, but it was just varicose veins, not to worry. I should also mention my doula came to support me about 9:00am and help me ask the right questions. That was a big help. About 11:00 I was able to go home.

 Colby got my message I had sent him that morning before I was discharged late that night around 8:00pm. It that told him I was at the hospital, but had come home and his messages blew up my phone! It was comforting to see how concerned he was. “Should I come home? Are you all right??” Yes, I was going to be all right, but for the rest of the week I felt awful. Grandmas' took the boys Monday and Tuesday, babysitter on Wednesday and I just took it easy! I went to my AGY yoga class Wednesday morning and had some mucus plug come out in the bathroom. Yay! I thought this was it.  Colby was scheduled to come home that night and I was so relieved. I had an appointment with my midwife that afternoon. Élan my doula came along. The midwife didn’t do an exam because I was feeling so kooky and my baby shower was that night and I didn’t want to go into labor any sooner than I had to. Then I got a message from Colby saying there’s too much fog. They can’t leave till the morning. Argh! No! I want my hubby home! I was so exhausted, but had a good time at the shower, and received some good news while there: the fog lifted and the plane was able to leave. He would get home about midnight. OK, now this baby girl can come!

            Days passed, my kookiness went away, energy came back, and then I was back to normal. I was so ready to have a baby for those couple of days, but now everything seemed fine and maybe I would go my usual 41 weeks! Dang. The next week I saw more mucous plug and blood, so I knew my body was getting ready.

            At my appointment the following Wednesday, the 17^th, I had her check my cervix, I was at a 4 and 70% effaced. She said, “Well, I could strip your membranes to help this get going.” I said, “Well, I don’t know, let me think about it…” And she said, “Hold on, you may feel a little pressure.” As she does something up in there and I’m like, “Uh, oww! What are you doing?” Oh, she just stripped my membranes without getting an OK from me! I was a little annoyed (even though I would of told her yes), but I wanted some time to think about it! Sheesh!

So on Thursday the 18^th I had made fish tacos (fresh from Alaska) for dinner. Before dinner, I used the bathroom and had a lot of mucus plug show up. Oh boy! As we are sitting at the table, I felt a contraction. Cool, but they are only cool if they are consistent. About 6 minutes later, I had another one. I started watching the clock; 5 minutes later I had another one. And they kept coming about 5-7 minutes apart. We cleaned up dinner and decided to go for a family walk/ bike ride with the boys. As we go, they are super consistent, 5 minutes apart or so. When we get home, about 8:00pm, we call Colby’s mom to have her come over, we are going to the hospital. Colby especially did not want to deliver a baby at home so he wanted to get there sooner than later. I call my doula, no answer. The big boys go take a shower, Colby is cleaning up the house and packing, and I’m giving Henry a bath. Julie shows up in like 5 minutes! She must have gone 90 mph to get there. I answer the door, “Hey Julie! Come on it!” she looks at me like, “Uh, aren’t you suppose to be in labor?” When she came to our house when I was in labor with Caleb, I was in pretty serious labor, so I think she was expecting to see me laboring on the couch or something! But no, I was taking care of kids, getting jammies on, packing bags!  We kiss the boys goodbye and say that in the morning they will probably have a new sister.

            Julie is a neighbor with Élan, so she calls her husband who has her call me. I get her call on the way to the hospital and she feels so bad! Her phone was dead and was so glad Julie knew her so she could call her husband! I told her about the contractions I was having and she was a bit skeptical- thinking I should labor at home more. But both Colby and I knew that once things get going for me, it goes fast. So she met us there. I was still at a 4 and 70% so I walked around for an hour, to see if I would progress and if they will keep me. So about 9:30 pm when they checked me I was at a 4 and 85% effaced, so I get to stay, we are having a baby!

            I was getting so tired. All I wanted to do was sleep, but lying down always makes the contractions worse, and I was too tired to walk to halls, so I bounced on the ball while leaning onto the bed. When a wave would come, I would say, “Here it comes”, and Élan and Colby would push a fist into my hips and it would literally make the contraction go away- not completely, but probably 60-70%. I was so glad it worked this time like it did with Henry. They were still over a minute or 2 apart and only about 30 seconds long. 

I was super tired and feeling really unmotivated to do this. They started to fill up the tub so I could get in and try to relax, but thinking about getting my swimsuit on and them not having easy access to my hips, made me not get in there after all. I was so tired and not wanting to go through this. I was basically angry that this was happening in the middle of the night. I had flashbacks of when we ran Ragnar and I had to wake up at 2:00am to run 8 miles up a mountain pass. I was pissed. I wanted someone else to do it for me. I wanted to strangle whoever put the race together. Who are they? Who do they think they are?? How could someone possible think up this nightmare?? We always joke about that leg of the race when everyone in the van got to see a side of Ashley that not many people know!

My contractions weren't getting any closer or longer, so we were afraid I wasn’t progressing. As I’m laboring on the ball, I say to Colby, “I feel like this is Ragnar. I’m too tired, I don’t want to do this.” He looks at me and says, “We’ve got to get things going for you, we need this to happen soon, it’s already 11:30pm. Lets have this baby so you can rest.” Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted to do. SLEEP! Probably more than even holding my first daughter, in that moment, was to sleep! So the midwife came it, checked me, I was at an 8 and 90% effaced! Yippee! So she went ahead and broke my water. She commented on how it was like a bag of leather - not easy to break! When she did, a big gush of water came out and it had a lot of meconium in it (baby’s first poo!) not ideal. She told me that there would need to be a respiratory therapist in the room when the baby came, but everything would be fine. I wanted to try a kneeling position on the bed that I had seen in some birth material when I was researching. They raised the head of the bed up; I knelt and laid over the top of it with a pillow. Still the same rhythm of labor for me; “Here it comes”, counter pressure, breath in for 4 counts and out for 8. Over and over again. Shortly after getting into that position I felt like I needed to use the restroom (#2), and yes I know the difference between a baby and #2. So as soon as the contraction was over, I went to the toilet, got up before the contraction started and waved Colby towards me so I could lean into him while either he or Élan did counter pressure. They ended up taking turns when I was in a standing position to give their arms a break! After that contraction, I went back to the toilet, got up when I felt another wave coming. I didn’t quite make it out to the room where they were this time so I waved him over to me again, and leaned into him while I breathed and they pushed on my hips. We did that one more time, and then I felt good enough to go back to the kneeling position on the bed.

I had a contraction or two and then I began to feel light headed. I said, “I think I’m gunna…” and then I passed out! Out cold! Colby says I totally slumped down, face all squished sideways on the bed and pillow. They quickly lowered the head of the bed and helped me lay on my side. In the birth photography photos, there are a lot of my on my side- that was me- totally out of it. I was having the most incredible dream! A total la-la-land experience. I can’t remember what it was exactly, but I felt like I was there for like 15 minutes. It was really only about 10 seconds, Colby said. I guess it was a little scary because I started shaking and they thought maybe it was a seizure or something. When I came to, I saw 5 faces peering down at me. I didn’t remember where I was at first. I thought, “Why are they all staring at me?” And then my next thought was, “Ooooo, I’m having a baby! I’m in labor!!” * contraction! * It was like waking up to a nightmare! Ha-ha. I wanted to go back to my dreamy place. Talk about a rude awakening.

 They tried to do counter pressure for those few contractions I was on my side for, but they hurt! They had put a Heploc IV in my arm when I got to the hospital, so as I was laying on my side they gave me some fluids to help my blood pressure get back to normal and whatever it’s suppose to do when you pass out due to a lack of oxygen. The weird thing is, is that I didn’t feel I was in that much pain when I passed out. Honestly. I was comparing everything to Henry’s birth, which I was nowhere near that intense of contractions yet. I got back into the kneeling position as quickly as I could so they could have access to my hips and I could try and relax and let the contractions do the work.

            I just wanted as many hands on me as possible. I was shaking, which again, I thought was weird because I didn’t feel like I was in a lot of pain or in transition (I remember ‘transition trembles’ with Henry! Yikes!). I had been shaking on and off since a little before they broke my water. When they held me, I could be still and I wasn’t shaking. I would feel so much more in control, so much more calm and relaxed. I wanted someone to hold my ankles down to the mattress, my hips into the bed, my shoulders, hands, wherever! Ironically, the song “Unsteady” by X Ambassadors came up on my playlist. “Hoooold, Hold on. Hold on to me, I’m a little unsteady, a little unsteady.” It was very true in that instance! I also started praying in my mind to Heavenly Father to help me, to give me strength, to ‘carry my burden so I could feel lighter’. Wow, that was really powerful and gave me a lot of courage and strength. Atonement is real folks.

The contractions were getting very intense, my breath out was super loud and Élan sweet voice was getting blown out so I said/yelled “Louder!” to her so I could hear her encouraging words. Then, her and Colby switched places so I could be looking at him. I was getting all hot and sweaty, so they brought in a cold washcloth, which felt good on my neck and face. I had made a focus board with affirmations and pictures of all 3 of my babies on it to help me stay focused and motivated. “I’ve don’t this before, 3 time before! Look how beautiful and perfect they are.” I needed those positive words blasted in my ears for those last few contractions. I am a quiet birther, but I started to moan through the breathing of those last ones. A few contractions later she was headed down! I remember thinking, “I want this to get over now! I hope this is it! Is this already it??” I said out loud to no one in particular, “I want her out!”

 In that week after I was in the hospital and I thought I might go into labor at any time, I was pinning birthing stuff on Pinterest and came upon this one that talked about ‘J breathing’ your baby out. She explained it like a fire breath, down and out like the shape of a J, to visualize the birth. Wow! I’m so glad I stumbled upon that pin because 3 contractions/pushes/J Breathing’s later, she was born! Her head, and then her slippery little body following! My first thought was, “It’s over! She’s here, it’s over. It’s already over??? That was it??” My contractions were spaced out, the pushing was so easy and natural, she basically fell out. I couldn’t believe she was already there. I was still leaning against the bed, just exhausted, waiting for someone to tell me how to get out of this position so I could see my girl, but no one said anything. I was annoyed and said, “What do I do??” Natalie, the midwife, said “Lift up this leg and then turn.” So I lifted up my left leg, and she swung the umbilical cord under it so I could flip around and sit down, then I got to hold my girl!

My first thought was, “It’s Caleb!” She looked just like our Caleb, which really surprised me. I don’t know what I was expecting but we always joke how Caleb doesn’t look like either of us and how genetics are so weird- but there she was, Caleb’s twin!  I just held her close and was so grateful she was here and the hardest part was over. The placenta took a while to come out, but when it did, the fun part was next- fundal massage. Oh my goodness I about punched that sweet nurse in the face. It hurt so badly and I could feel clots of blood coming out. I yelled, “Dooooooon’t doooo that!” Basically hitting her arm as I grabbed it. I said, “I better just hold on to your arm so I don’t hit you over and over again!” There was a ton of blood afterwards, so I had to get a whole bag of Pitocin to help speed up the contractions and get it all out! Yes, I had to get stinking Pit after a totally un-medicated birth. Not cool. I guess it's common to bleed more with each baby. So I got a lot more pleasant contractions than the ones you normally get. There was so much blood loss that I also had to have a shot of something (started with an M) in my thigh and then I had to take a few pills of it the next day. After most of the yucky after-birth stuff was over, Natalie checked me down there for any tearing. And to make an awesome birth even more awesome, I had no tearing! No stiches needed! Can I get a Hallelujah?!? Best news since finding out we were having a girl! I seriously wanted to get up and jump around like a crazy person! I was so happy. That was one of my main goals for a natural birth. We did it! I loved that I was able to birth her kneeling, I think that was key to it going fast and no tearing. I definitely recommend that position and I would totally do that again (Not saying I will, or won’t- we will see.)

While all that is going on, I got to just hold her against my chest and soak in her sweetness. She was just perfect. We tried nursing just minutes after I started holding her and she latched on wonderfully.

She was so alert and fed for a good 45 minutes! I got to hold her for so long- longer than any of my other babies, the nurses were so great. No rush to get her measurements and all that stuff. They just let me hold her against me. That was really special. I held her against my skin for over an hour!

I could tell Colby was itching to hold her and I also wanted to get all cleaned up. I was also curious how big she was. She looked so much like Caleb I was wondering if she was a 9.6 pounder and 23.5” too! Luckily, she wasn’t. She was 7.14lbs and 21”of perfect-ness. 

She has the sweetest, softest cheeks and the sweetest little dimple. We are completely in love with her and I'm so grateful for the experience I had to bring her into this world. I am so grateful to be a mother and to have a body that can do amazing things. She is one of the best things to happen to us and I’m so glad I had that experience to bring her into this world.